Worry vs Worship

"Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; or about your body what you will wear. Is not life more than food or the body more than clothes? Look at the birds in the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns? And yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not more valuable than they?" Matthew 6:24-26

I remember during my undergrad studies at Johnson University several professors would say our activities could serve as worship. If we had the right heart and were putting forth the effort into things such as our studies or our work study jobs then those activities could and would be seen by God as acts of worship. I used to wonder about that? So many times we think of worship as kneeling down at church, or eyes closed in reverent prayer or hands raised in wild singing, but something as mundane as an everyday activity could be seen by my Almighty creator as worship?

Now enter my worry: I often put off the enjoyment side of life because of worry... I tell myself not today because of what tomorrow might hold or even what tonight might bring? I have recently realized if I had the same mentality years ago that I have now I may have never had children, I would have thought I couldn't have afforded them! Allow me to offer an example; my husband and I have rented our home for the last year. Its a very nice home and until very recently we were thinking we would move as soon as possible, the plan was to buy as soon as possible. However, as I mentioned in a previous post with our landlord being so understanding and my husband still looking for a full time placement in teaching we have just decided that staying put is the best thing for us.


Now the way my mind works is this, since we rent our home and thus we do not know where we will eventually live "permanently" I think to myself "lets not buy anything or spend anything and so on". And thus I don't get excited and I seem to stay stuck in a never ending rut. I am coming to realize that rut is not an act of worship. This is not to say that I am thinking God wants to be go out and spend! But I am recognizing that I am living in worry and I do believe that God does not want me to live there either.

Our house has an amazing deck, and last summer my husband and I had this wonderful routine. Every morning we would get up earlier than the kids and Shan would drink his coffee and I would have my Crystal Light and we would sit on the deck talking some days for a few hours. Some days about things that were important and some days about nothing big, sometimes the conversations got intense and even tearful and some days they were full of laughter, some mornings we just sat in quiet and watched the deer on the hill pass our field. We loved those times and we both have mentioned how much we are looking forward to the weather warming up so we can start meeting out on the deck again. The thing is we do not have very comfortable chairs! We have a fun folding camp chairs we used last summer and we made due but as the summer and fall progressed they began to wear out. I mentioned to my husband the other day that I would like to invest in some nicer deck furniture, this was a shock to me; just saying those words out loud. I do not usually like to spend like that... I usually think "what if" what if we spend that money and something happens? But again isn't that living in worry?

I am sitting here this morning thinking back on those professors and that idea of activities being an act of worship? Sitting on the back deck holding my husbands hand, sometimes talking through the important emotional things we needed too, sometimes silly things, and sometimes being still and knowing by creation that God is God now isn't that an act of worship!

Oh how I want to do better at making my daily activities acts of worship and worrying less... I do not want to find myself at the end of my life realizing that I lived an entire life based on worries. Worries based on money as if there would be enough? Or worries based on what others would think? So I held back what needed to be said. Or worries based on what "should" be, in the sense that the the needs of the "to do list" out way the fun times of life.

It has become more and more clear to me that God desires my life to be one of worship not of worry. I do not want to spend my life thinking "when____" I will buy new deck furniture or "when _____" I will take that special trip with my husband, or "when ____" I will go on the dream vacation with my kids or even the day to day things like spending the whole day playing fun games doing just nothing on that "to do" list but completely enjoying my family. What am I waiting for? I am more convicted than ever that with every laugh with my children I am in an act of worship! With every kiss with my husband I am in an act of worship! With every visit with a friend on the back deck as we fellowship I am in an act of worship! If this is the case I have a choice to make today, do I live in worry or worship?

"Therefore since we are receiving a new kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe." Hebrews 12: 28

Unexpected Blessings

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do NOT see.

It's January 2nd and a new year has begun. I was feeling especially reflective at the beginning of a new year. Those close to me know why. I have come to see this month differently and my blog article choice explains more of that. This morning I sit here with an added sense of appreciation. On one hand I could be frustrated on a few external minor set backs, such as having a headache for the second day; however, the blessings our family has experienced over the last month have been so amazing, I cannot be downcast.

We started the Christmas season in a state of circumstances that most would consider bleak and many would not have thought wrong of us at all to complain or be discouraged in the least. I was scheduled to have brain surgery on December 13 for a condition that affects the Trigeminal Nerve which causes a great deal of pain to the face. I finished my first semester of graduate school on December 12, I was also homeschooling two of our three children, though we will have some catching up to do because of the times I needed to take off due to my own sickness. As Christmas approached and my surgery was just around the corner, we realized it would be necessary for my husband to take off work the week of my surgery, because he has been substituting for the Knox County school system, he would not be paid for his time off and with the Christmas break right after my surgery he would be off for a little over three weeks with no income. With that in mind, we had a family meeting with our children and we all decided we would do our family gift exchange (something we have been doing for several years and something we all LOVE to do) a little later when dad got back to work. This is what we were experiencing when Christmas approached for us.

Then the blessings began to spill upon our family. First, our church helped us by paying something extremely necessary. Then one night, I came home from some errands and my husband was giving directions to someone to our home . . . Our children told me some teachers were bringing by some lesson plans they needed to go over with him for some classes he would be teaching the next week. I didn't think anything of it, but I was not up for visiting and went back to our room. My husband came back to get me and asked me to come out and meet them when they arrived, and although I protested, I came out and to my surprise!!!!, two of my good friends from Indiana had come with presents for our kids! They had been emailing Shan because of a prayer request I had given one of them over a month before and their whole small group (that we were apart of ten years ago) had all gotten together and bought many things on the Christmas list I had originally made for the children's grandparents. I watched with tears as our children opened their gifts and we had such a nice visit and were blessed by their generosity.

A few days before my surgery, our landlord stopped by to check in and see if we needed anything and how things were going, he was going to be going out of state for two weeks. We had planned to call him because we had not paid our rent for December, and we knew we would have to pay January's rent late also; my husband explained to him again about my surgery and how he would be off of work for so long and that we would pay him as soon as we could; catching him up even with the fees. Our landlord blessed us so much beyond our understanding -he simply stated that he understood everyone was having a hard time right now and for us to concentrate on my surgery and to get the rent to him when we could.

The blessings didn't stop there, I could go on and on, we received two weeks of meals from friends and we received monetary gifts from family and friends. Then on Christmas Eve our older two children decided that they just didn't want their little brother to wake on Christmas morning without something to open, so they gathered up some video games and CDs and asked their dad to take them around to game stores to sell them. They bought Bryant something for Christmas and to his surprise, on Christmas morning he had some new video games under the tree! That was a great present for a mama, to see my children loving each other so much!

We are still on the roller coaster, as we drove home from the store on New Year's Eve our only running car broke down; we think it's the fuel pump. Each of us has had moments of frustration, you know how it is; you become used to being able to do what you want when you want. I drink a mix-in each morning with a bit of caffeine and I used my last one a couple days ago; without it, I get a headache. Needless to day, today is my second morning with a headache. I know I am spoiled so to speak, wanting to jump in the car or have my husband run to the store and pick something up for me; however, I can't help but remember our landlord or how much we have enjoyed playing the games our friends from Indiana gave us for Christmas, and in the bigger picture, isn't that what it's all about? Even now, as I was working on this article, my husband came in and told me that we received a call last night from a friend from church, she read on my Facebook where I had posted that we were needing help with our car and she told him her husband could fix it, he has always worked on their cars! God is so good!

This next year, I want to strive personally to focus on the blessings, not only when things are going well, like when there is always enough money to meet the need, when there is no pain, or when the scale is going down; but also when its hard - when things aren't adding up, when the jeans are too tight, when stress is high and tempers are flaring, because I think that is when focusing on the blessings is most important. Isn't that what faith is all about? Isn't that what seeing a blessing AS A BLESSING really is!

James 5:13 The Prayer of Faith
Is anyone among you in trouble? Let him pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise!